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A TEST OVER THE HOLY BIBLE - ESSAY

Currently the test covers the first eighteen books of the Bible. But don't worry, I will get the rest of them in here. Keep checking back!

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How many Tyrannosaurus Rexes did Noah take onto the ark?

Scientists have identified about 700 species of dinosaurs. On which end of Noah's 450-foot ark did he keep the dinosaurs?

If in the first chapter of Genesis God created plants on the third day and human beings on the sixth day. Why then does the second chapter say that there were no plants yet when he created humans?

Immediately after Eve was created Adam said, "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." How did Adam know about husbands and wives and mothers and fathers immediately as soon as the second human being was created?

Cain and Abel were the first two people to be born on the face of the earth. As is widely known, Cain killed his brother Abel. When it was found out, Cain said that anyone who finds him should kill him for doing this, but God said that anyone who kills Cain would suffer vengeance seven times over. So who were these people who might or might not kill Cain? (While you're at it, does vengeance seven times over mean that the perpetrator would be killed seven times?)

In Genesis chapter 4, after killing his brother Abel, Cain made love to his wife and had a son named Enoch. Later on in chapter 4 Adam and Eve had their third son, Seth, "in place of Abel". After that, in chapter 5, they had other sons and daughters. Where did Cain's wife come from?

When God saw the wickedness of men he was sorry that he had made us. Then after destroying humankind (and lots of other creatures), he repented and said he would never do it again. Do you think God has made other mistakes?

When Sarai got old and still didn't have any children she gave her slave Hagar to Abram, to whom God had promised to make a great nation from. Being a slave, and now belonging to Abram instead of Sarai, she had no choice but to have sex with Abram and got pregnant. Why do you think God chose to create his great nation from the progeny of a rapist slave-holder?

The lies of Abraham promted the king of Gerar to ask Abraham to swear not to deal falsely with him. Would you choose a man with a reputation as a liar to be the "father of your nation"?

According to the Bible Abraham tied up his own son at God's command, laid him on an altar, and raised his knife ready to kill his own son. Do you think that a man who attempts to kill his own innocent son fit to be a father? A father of nations? What do you think we should do with a man who attempts to kill his own child because he claims that God has told him to do so?

What lesson is God trying to teach us by blessing and enriching the man (Jacob) who deceived his own father and cheated his own brother out of his birthright and his father's blessing?

In Genesis chapter 46 the Israelites were to be allowed to settle in Goshen because they were shepherds, and shepherds were detestable to the Egyptians. In chapter 47 Pharaoh offered to let the Israelites settle in the best part of the land – Goshen! So why did the Egyptians save their best land for those they found detestable?

When Moses' brother Aaron threw down his rod in front of Pharaoh and it turned into a snake, the Egyptian sorcerers did the same thing. How did they do this? Do you believe in sorcery?

When the Israelites worshipped another god while Moses was on Mount Sinai God was angry and threatened to destroy them, but Moses talked him out of it. Previously, in the days of Noah, God had sent the deluge upon the world, and then was sorry and promised not to do so again. Is God always so impulsive?

Numbers 23:19 says, "God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind." How does this jive with the previous question?

Leviticus chapter 27 tells us that "nothing that a person owns and devotes to the Lord - whether a human being or an animal or family land - may be sold or redeemed; everything so devoted is most holy to the Lord", and then goes on to say "No person devoted to destruction may be ransomed; they are to be put to death." What do you think of a God who allows people to "devote" other people they own (we'll deal with the issue of ownership of people/slavery later) to be killed?

In Leviticus chapter 26 God threatened that if the Israelites sinned he would "send wild animals against you, and they will rob you of your children." What do you think of a God who kills children because their parents sin?

Leviticus chapter 20 says, "If a man marries his brother’s wife, it is an act of impurity; he has dishonored his brother." Deuteronomy chapter 25, on the other hand, says, "If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her." So which is it? Is a man supposed to marry his brother's widow, or not?

When the Israelites defeated the Midianites, Moses commanded that they kill every Midianite except for the virgin girls. What do you suppose was the purpose of keeping the virgin girls alive?

In Deuteronomy chapter 7 God tells the Isrealites that when they take over the Canaanites' lands, "you must destroy them totally…You must destroy all the peoples the Lord your God gives over to you. Do not look on them with pity". What do you think of a God like this? Do you think he is a God that could love you?

Deuteronomy chapter 28 gives a long list of horrors – such as boils, diseases, blindness, madness, death, drought, famine, defeat by enemies, rape - that God will bring on the Israealites if they do not obey God's commands. What do you think of a God who tries to command people's respect and allegiance by threatening them with such horrible threats? Do you agree with Moses' description of God in Deuteronomy chapter 4 as "merciful"?

Why did the "merciful" God of Deuteronomy chapter 4 harden the hearts of the Canaanites so that he could destroy them "without mercy" (Joshua 11:20)?

After the Israelites conquered the Promised Land and killed everyone in it, Joshua 14:15 says "Then the land had rest from war." What do you think of a God who creates peace by killing everybody off so that there is no one left to fight? Does this really fit with your idea of peace?

In Judges chapter 1 the tribe of Judah was not able to drive out the people of the plains because they had "chariots fitted with iron". Why is it that chariots of iron stopped the great, omnipotent God who had wrought great miracles, delivered Israel from Egypt, and delivered all their other enemies over to the Israelites?

Jephthah was one of the judge-deliverers that God rose up to save Israel. When he went to war he pledged to God that he would sacrifice to God as a burnt offering the first thing that came out of his door when he returned home. Surely Jephthah knew that the first thing to come out his door was likely to be a member of his family, as it turned out to be. Why would he make such a ridiculous pledge? Why would God honor such a ridiculous pledge, as he did in giving victory to Jepthah?

Jephthah followed through on his promise and burned his daughter. Why would God raise such a barbaric character to save his people?

Gideon, a judge of Israel, had many wives and 72 children, including one by a slave. Izban, a judge of Israel, had 30 sons and 30 daughters. Abdon, another judge of Israel, had 40 sons. Obviously, these last two men also had more than one wife, concubine, etc. Why do you think God raised up such "family men" to lead his people?

Three times Samson's wife Delilah asked him for the secret of his strength and, when he lied to her and she thought he was weakened, she called his enemies, the Philistines, upon him. The fourth time she asked him he told her the truth and the Philistines apprehended him and gouged his eyes out. Would you have told your wife/husband your secret of strength after she tried to trick you and turn you over to your enemies three times? Could Samson really have been that stupid?

After Deborah delivered the Israelites from the Canaanites she sang a song in praise of God. In the song she described the victors (Israelites) dividing the spoils, including "to every man a damsel or two". What do you think of God's judge-deliverer, a woman no less, describing women as loot to be divided up among the men?

After the other tribes warred against the Benjamites and nearly destroyed them, they took pity and helped the surviving Benjamites find wives. First they destroyed one of their own cities and, after killing everyone else, took all the virgin girls to give to the Benjamites. When that wasn't enough they agreed that, during a certain festival, they would allow the remaining men to kidnap the girls that were dancing at the festival. Aside from the murder and rape issues involved here, what do you think of God's people who use women as merchandise to be distributed and determine their value in terms of their virginity?

After King Saul defeated the Amalekites the Bible tells us that God was sorry that he had made Saul king in the first place. Why did God do something he was sorry for afterward? Why does he have such a hard time getting things right the first time?

As we all know, David killed the giant Goliath, whereupon Saul asked, "Whose son is that young man", not only forgetting who David's father was, but apparently not remembering that he told David to go fight the giant! When David was brought before the king, Saul asked, "Whose son are you, young man?" "Young man?" Did he not even recognize the lyre player who he had hired to play for him, never mind remembering who his father was?

When Saul consulted a medium, she brought up the spirit of Samuel for Saul to talk to. Do you believe that mediums can really talk to dead people?

Since God condoned slavery in the Bible, shouldn't we reinstitute it here in the U.S. (or whatever country the reader may be from)?

According to 2 Samuel chapter 24, when David conducted a census of Israel Joab reported the number of the fighting men as 500,000 in Judah and another 800,000 in the rest of Israel. 1 Chronicles chapter 21 records these numbers as 1,100,000 in total, including 470,000 from Judah. So how many soldiers were there?

After David conducted the census he purchased a threshing floor upon which to build and altar to God. According to 2 Samuel chapter 24 he paid Araunah 50 shekels of silver for it, but 1 Chronicles chapter 21 tells us he paid him 600 shekels of gold. How much did David pay for the threshing floor?

In the last chapter of 2 Samuel David described God as "merciful" as God was about to kill 70,000 Isrealites because of David's sin. Do you think a God who does such a thing is "merciful"?

In 2 Kings chapter 17 Israel was taken captive by Assyria. Why then does 1 Chronicles 9:1 say "All Israel was … taken captive to Babylon because of their unfaithfulness"?

1 Kings 15:5 says, "For David had done what was right in the eyes of the LORD and had not failed to keep any of the LORD’s commands all the days of his life—except in the case of Uriah the Hittite". Did the writer just forget about how David "sinned" against God so badly by taking a census (1 Chronicles 21) that God killed 70,000 Israelites for it?

1 Chronicles 29:25 says "The Lord highly exalted Solomon in the sight of all Israel and bestowed on him royal splendor such as no king over Israel ever had before". Now let's see, that's all 2 of them, right? (Saul – David – Solomon)

After the Lord granted Solomon great wisdom, two prostitutes came to him with a child which both claimed was her own, but one claimed that the other had accidentally smothered her own baby and was claiming this one as her own. As is well known, Solomon commanded the baby to be divided in two and half given to each woman, whereupon the real mother said no, it was better to give the baby to the other woman than to kill it, but the other woman said yes, divide it in two. Do you really think the women of Israel were stupid enough to fall for this trick? If this represents a prime example of Solomon's incredible wisdom, what does this say for him and the God who gave it to him?

The king Ahab "sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord", but because he humbled himself at one point God tells his prophet that he would not bring disaster upon him, but rather would bring disaster upon his house in the days of his son. What kind of a just God would punish the son for his father's sins?

After Elisha became prophet he was walking along and some children teased him because he was bald. Elisha called two bears who came and mauled the children. What kind of man would send bears to maul children? Obviously God sent the bears. What kind of a God would send bears to maul children?

The Bible tells us that Hezekiah, king of Judah, "did what was right in the eyes of the Lord", and "he was successful in whatever he undertook". Then it tells us that the King of Assyria captured all the fortified cities of Judah and forced Hezekiah to give him all his gold and silver. He even had to strip the gold off the temple doors! Does this sound like success to you?

When the Babylonians defeated Judah they carried some of them away captive and left others in the land with the promise, "Settle down in the land and serve the king of Babylon, and it will go well with you." The king of Babylon even eventually released the conquered king of Israel from prison and gave him an honored seat at the king's table. How does this compare with the way the people of Israel, under a "merciful" God's direction, had treated the people of the land that they had invaded generations earlier?

According to 1 Kings 15:14, Asa, king of Judah, did right in the sight of the Lord, except that he "did not remove the high places". According to 2 Chronicles 14:3, however, "He removed the foreign altars and the high places." Then again, 2 Chronicles 17:15 says, "he did not remove the high places from Israel". So which is correct? Did Asa remove the high places or not?

2 Chronicles 15:17 says, "[King] Asa’s heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life". However, in chapter 16 he relies on a treaty with the king of Aram and a prophet of God told him, "Because you relied on the king of Aram and not on the LORD your God, the army of the king of Aram has escaped from your hand." For this, Asa threw the prophet into prison. Does this sound to you like a king whose "heart was fully committed to the Lord all his life"?

When Assyria came against Judah, Judah "blocked all the springs and the stream that flowed through the land" so that the Assyrians wouldn't find water when they attacked. How did they accomplish such an amazing feat?

Job was an upright man who feared God. Satan presented himself before God one day and God pointed out to Satan that Job was such a good man, whereupon Satan said that the only reason that Job feared God was that God had blessed him with wealth. So God allowed Satan to take away everything that Job had, including killing his seven sons and three daughters. It is bad enough when God punishes children for their parents' sins, but what kind of God punishes children for their parents' righteousness?

Satan presented himself before God once again and God pointed out that Job was still a god-fearing good man, whereupon Satan said that the only reason that Job feared God was that God had blessed him with health. So God allowed Satan to torment him with sores all over his body. Do you want to serve a God who would allow you to be tormented in order to to gamble with the Devil?

Eliphaz the Temanite, one of Job's companions, told, "Behold, happy is the man whom God reproves; therefore despise not the chastening of the Almighty." How much do you suppose that did for Job's seven sons and three daughters?

In the end, after Job's suffering was over, God gave Job twice as much wealth as before. He also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters. So did This make what God did to the first sons and daughters okay since he "replaced" them?